Do you find this man attractive?
Please don't make love to the camera.Really? What about this man?
Please don't rape the camera.
If you find these men attractive, there's a good chance you're a hick.
Seriously. I've known several people who really have the hots for these two. Every one of them think both Bret Michaels and Vin Diesel are sexy. Every one of them is a major hick.
I find it hard to believe anyone finds them attractive. Looking at Bret Michaels' lined bug-eyes and inflated lips makes me queasy. Vin Diesel's waxed eyebrows and trying-too-hard physique make me lose faith in masculinity.
Maybe it wouldn't be so confusing if you strip away their careers... No, they're still gross.
That's probably part of the problem, anyway--hicks would think "Every Rose has its Thorn" and The Fast and the Furious are respectable contributions to society and culture.
Ew.
This information does come in handy, though. If there's anyone one you suspect might be a hick and you want to know for sure, ask that person what he/she thinks of Bret Michaels and Vin Diesel and their "bodies of work." Just be prepared to lose respect for that person... and maybe your appetite.
